Monday, November 30, 2009

Raye Haji kt Ipoh...

mmg sonok lepak kt ipoh selama 2hari 3 mlm....check in kt homestay -kechik bai-...bowling, movies, hot spring, karok dan makan minum lepak...mmg x nk tinggalkan ipoh je ape daya ku...esok kena keje ma..hahahhaha...

special thanks to Kechik(poyo terlebih), Oris(jalang terulung), Eddy, Fiq, Mie(termenung selalu), An, Abib(suara mantap) for the special weekend.....

Monday, November 16, 2009

another solo year...from 2009 to 2010

well...lepas mlm ni...maka cukup la setahun lagi neilz hidup sebagai neilz...setahun yg solo seperti tahun2 yg lalu....waktu yg sama tahun lepas, neilz masih mengharapkan seseorang itu untuk kembali ke sisi setahun dh berlalu, segala2nya pun sudah berubah,org yg suatu ketika dahulu neilz harapkan untuk jd teman idup neilz, kini sudah berumahtangga...tghari td lunch skali dgn kali pertama kita berjumpa selepas perkahwinan dia...neilz buat kali pertama rasa lega, rupanya, neilz dh x keberatan untuk berdepan dgn dia, dan juga hakikat yg dia kini dh x mgkn jd milik neilz lg..

perjalanan setahun ni tidaklah mudah...mcm2 neilz lalui..bagai2 cabaran yg neilz tempuhi...drp kisah P smpai la cerita singkat bersama A...mcm2...bkn stakat itu, kawan2 di keliling neilz pun dh byk yg dulu neilz rasa memahami neilz, kini dh jd stranger...sebabnya kenapa? adalah...mcm2 punca dan mcm2 masalah...bkn org2 tu, tp pd diri neilz jugak..nk diceritakan, tp terlalu rumit...dgn berbagai2 rasa di hati...biarkan saja la, suatu ari nanti, bila neilz dh tua, segala2 ni sume pasti akan jd kenangan yg sgt neilz hargai.

ditanyakan apa yg neilz mahukan inginkan dlm idup, sebenarnya sgt2 simple, neilz cuma inginkan seorang teman yg boleh berada di sisi neilz, untuk menempuhi perjalanan idup ini yg berliku2, untuk berdepan dgn segala cabaran yg ada, untuk memberikan neilz sedikit rasa bahagia, dlm kehidupan seharian..berkali2 neilz mencuba, tetapi, tiap kali, bila kasih dan sayang br saja mula dilahirkan dr hati,kisah itu pun dh tiba di penghujungnya....ntah kenapa, ntah apa masalahnya...neilz apa daya neilz kan?

yg mampu neilz buat, cuma teruskan mendoa, mengharapkan org yg neilz cari2kan, akan neilz jumpai suatu ari nanti...kepada mereka yg pernah hadir dlm idup neilz, dan pernah ceriakan idup neilz, terima kasih byk2...kepada mereka yg pernah neilz sakitkan ati, minta maaf byk2...semoga tahun ni, kita sume akan lebih bahagia, lebih ceria..

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Cmne rasa korunk bile...

cmner rasa korunk bile org yg korunk syg dok rajin cite kt korunk tntg org yg dia suka dan syg?

pedih x? mesti pedih kan?

kadang2 aku rasa dunia ni x adil...bukan untuk aku tp untuk ramai org lain gak...mmg x adil...

apa sebenarnya ikhtibar di sebaliknya? aku x tau...dan aku masih cuba untuk mengertinya.....

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Lagu untuk A

walaupun dh ambik keputusan untuk aku dgn A masih ade berhubung skali skala..bila aku x tahan rindu..aku msg dia...dan dia jugak..kadang2...mms gambar dia kt aku confused...smpai bile kita nk terus macam ni..?

bila aku mulakan perbincangan pasal hubungan antara aku dgn dia...mmg x de kesudahan... :(

aku sygkan dia....dan aku tau...dia pernah sygkan aku malangnya, jodoh x de... masih ingat lagi, msg last A antar kt aku, suruh aku dgr lagu Harapan Fazli Zainal, dia x tau, dah sememangnya lagu ni aku selalu dgr..dan mgkn dia dh lupa, dia pernah nyanyi lagu ni gak waktu kami pergi karok sekali.. :

kepada A, seandainya awak dpt baca Blog sy...xkira la skrg ke, minggu depan ke, setahun dprd skrg ke mgkn, 10tahun kemudian nk dedicate lagu ni kepada awak:

Pesanan Buat Kekasih

Sewaktu kau melangkah
Meninggalkan diriku
Sebaknya rasa di dalam dadaku
Menahan titis air mata

Ingin aku berpesan
Kepadamu kekasih
Sekiranya engkau merinduiku
Hubungilah aku di sini

Jika ada kesilapanku
Maafkanlah diriku oh sayang
Dan izinkan aku bertanya
Mengapa kau berubah hati

Kiranya kau ada penggantiku
Tetapi hidupmu tak bahagia
Relaku memaafkanmu
Dan menerimamu sayang

Walaupun hatiku kau lukai
Namunku masih menyayangi
Kerana sehingga waktu ini
Cintaku masih untukmu

Oh sayang di mana kau berada
Janganlah kau lupakan aku
Ingatlah aku walau sesaat
Seorang insan yang terluka

Friday, October 16, 2009

Please do not waste your time....

Take note: Get to known your love ones and appreciate them before it to late.....

Daniel: I guess we are the left overs in this world.
Jasmine: I think so.. All of my friends have boyfriends & we are the only 2 personsleft in this world without any special someone in our lives.
Daniel: Yup! I don't know what to do.
Jasmine: I know! We'll play a game.
Daniel: What game?
Jasmine: I'll be your girlfriend for 30 days & you will be my boyfriend.
Daniel: That's a great plan in fact, I don't have anything to do for the following weeks..

DAY 1:They watched their first movie together & were both touched in the romantic film.

DAY 4:They went to the beach & had a picnic...... Daniel & Jasmine had their quality time together.

DAY 12:Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they went to a Horror House.. Jasmine was scaredand she tried to touch Daniel's hand but by accident she touched someone else's and they both laughed....

DAY 14:They saw a fortune teller down the road and asked for their future. The fortune teller said: "My darlings, please don't waste the time of your lives... spend your time together happily." Then tears flow from the teller's eyes.

DAY 20:Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and they saw a meteor... Jasmine mumbled something .

DAY 28:They rode on a bus and because of the bumpy road, Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident.

DAY 29:11:37 pm:Daniel & Jasmine were sitting in the park where they first decided to play this game ...

Daniel: I'm tired Jasmine... do you want any drinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road..
Jasmine: Apple juice would be fine,thanks.
Daniel: Wait for me...

20 minutes later...... a stranger approched Jasmine.

Stranger: Are you a friend of Daniel?
Jasmine: Yes, why? What happened?
Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran over Daniel & he is critical in the hospital.........

11:57pmThe doctor came out from the emergency room & handed out an apple juice & a letter to Jasmine.

Doctor: We found this in Daniel's pocket.

Jasmine read the letter which says: Jasmine, this past few days, I realized you are really a cute girl & I am falling for you... your cherished smile, your everything when we played this game.. & before this game ends, I would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my life. I love you, Jasmine......

Jasmine crumples the paper & shouted.."Daniel! I don't want you to die...I love you..... Remember that night we saw a meteor? I mumbled something.. I wished that we would be together forever & never end this game. Please don't leave me, Daniel... I love you, you cannot do this to me

Then the clock strikes 12 Daniel's heart stop pumping

THEN IT WAS THE 30th DAY......

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Always love your loved ones & show them how you feel before it's too late.. You will never know when they will be gone from your embrace.. If you were given a time to bestow petals of everlasting compassion & love to your love ones, today is the day. Love them while they are still here...

Monday, October 12, 2009

nice trip...

Party whole night....
hang out with lots of cute ppl....
movie in pavillion..

really enjoyed myself the last 2 days...

but there's always something that bothers me, i will name that "Post-Party Trauma" will never be matter if i spent 1 day or 2 days or even 10days with these kinda activities..hahaha......

i will miss u guys...hope we can hang out soon.. :)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The End

sometimes i am thinking that i am cursed... guessed what? whenever i begin to feel that myself is being loved, something bad will surely happen, and grab away the little bit of love that i get to feel...

for so long, none of my relationship actually last longer than 1 year. in fact, the longest, was 1 year, with 3 months of cold war, 2 months of transition period when we were becoming less and less intimate....and now...this coming weekend, it is the person's wedding. tough huh?

for almost a year after the last break up, i wasn't really hoping for new relationship. several persons drew my attentions, but none worked out eventually. until this P came to my life. P is not from around here but working in Seremban. got to know P from a ex fren. ya ex fren, means now we are no longer fren.. :) something bad happened and something bad came out from his mouth, destroyed the frienship. not forgiveness, forever.... :(

P is not exactly my type, but the charisma attracts me. somehow, we are not fated to be together. from single to couple to single again, P never ever noticed my presence. i always think that there is a reason..and recently i found the culprit. anyway, now P is happy with his Loved one, and i am glad to see that. the hurt and pain are not that significant as P and me are 500km away from each other. Distance really plays a role here i guessed. :)

approximately 2 months ago, got to know A when i joined frens to Club. in fact, i rarely go to club ever since i stationed in Penang. the clubs here sucks though. :P. first impression of A was very common. and when getting to know A better, the attraction grew bigger. we started to text each other frequently...and once in a while we went out together, either only 2 of us or with a whole bunch of frens. until one fine day, A sent me a text message with the 3 words, simple yet magical...i realized that i am not exactly "tepuk sebelah tangan"..yes, it is sort of confession from A to me....we did not discuss further on that and mutual agreement was to let things go the way they want...and like i said, i am cursed, when i started to feel LOVE, bad things happened. yes it happened.

some f**king b*tch made up story about me and D having affair to A. until A came confronted me asking for clarification...even worse, D came asked if i have made up the story? cool right? i became the guilty one...out of nowhere, i was accused to be having affair with a fren of mine...thanks to the f**king b*tch..few days after that, A and i were still not in good term due to this. and now, there's nothing between A and me anymore....

A special note to the f**king b*tch: Thank you very much for the help. I guess you are happy to see others in miserable. months ago, you sabotaged when i try to get along with P. and now, you did that again. Congrats for the success... thinking of how much I helped you before this, this is what i got from you. this is pretty much a good lesson for me. i will be better eventually..and you will not be forgiven this time. i dun mind if you keep telling ppl around on how bad i am and how pity you are, in wise ppl's eyes, they know who is right and who is me you are just too pathetic, hopping around for different frens just for your own convenience....if this is the way you define frenship.. eventually frenship will judge you one day...just wait and see...

to P and A: what has happened cannot be changed and for whatever shit that put to me, i will not clarify further. i will move on with my life now, and will keep praying for you guys' happiness. eventually one day, you will know the truth.....

and this is the end of the charpter....

new change is coming....New Story...

wonder if my new baby brought me the change or just some coincidence here. For so long, i have been always wanted to leave my current job and pick up new stuffs. but i never have make it happen. so long, i am still stucked here doing all those things that i reli cannot passionate myself to do. finally, i got the chance to get a change. and i went for the interview. 2 weeks after that, i was informed, that i was selected to join the new team. YAHOOOOO.....i finally got one step closer to what i want to try now....cant wait for to start this new job. :)

wish me luck dude....

Monday, September 28, 2009

my new babe is finially here...

after waiting for soooooo new babe has finally be with me now..she is definitely hot....this lady in black came to me on 25 Sept 2009 afternoon...she is cool..i just like the way she looks like...though you can see the same like her on everywhere...

Thursday, September 17, 2009

2nd raya in my working life

last nite was the last nite buka posa with all those fellas...we went for Seoul Garden and everyone was full like hell.. :)

and today, most of those kaki buka posa will balik u go, a boring weekend is approaching...sigh....

i m thinking to get away from penang this week, probably wil be a bad choice to join the crowds on the PLUS highway. not sure if i should really do so. hahah...

apparently this will be the 2nd raya after i started to work. the last one was a bad one. where i was left alone by someone i love so much and eventually not long after the raya, we broke up. this year, things are getting better, have been solo for quite some time, enjoying the life with frenz most of the time. however, still feeling lonely from time to time though. :

recently having not enough time for everything. chasing here and there...running up and down...busy for everything but nothing. hahaha....

till when all these will change? tired.....exhausted....and wish to have a long break. :)

Friday, August 28, 2009

end of August

time really does's now at the end of August....I am getting closer to my checkpoint. What will happen in the month of September that I have been waiting for so long? will i get to see the change that i am hoping for so long?nobody could have the answer, just wait and see. :?

enjoying buka puasa with frenz who still around...alot of old memories flashed back recently...good, bad, happy, and sad....hahaha...

histories and memories might be meaningful. what's more important will be the one infront of us...the future....which are in our hands.....

Monday, August 10, 2009

feeling a bit tired and a bit sick...

it is tired....monday so blue...flu...sleepy...many things to be settled...meetings...x abis abis je..hahahaha.....crazy weekend sudah lepas....otak masih ting tong..kakakaka...

pening pala..

Friday, July 24, 2009


Kerispatih - Mengenangmu

Takkan pernah habis air mataku
Bila ku ingat tentang dirimu
Mungkin hanya kau yang tahu
Mengapa sampai saat ini ku masih sendiri

Adakah disana kau rindu padaku
Meski kita kini ada di dunia berbeda
Bila masih mungkin waktu berputar
Kan kutunggu dirimu …

Biarlah ku simpan sampai nanti aku kan ada di sana
Tenanglah diriku dalam kedamaian
Ingatlah cintaku kau tak terlihat lagi

Namun cintamu abadi

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

missing somebody

semalam aq terbawa lagu itu lagi...waktu menyanyi tu, muka org tu je terbayang kt kepala rindu kat dia? ye aq jugak yg larikan diri aq rasa, itu la yg terbaik untuk aq dan dia....ntah skrg dia bahagia x, happy x...rasanya ye kot...kan bagus kalo macam ni...masing2 truskan idup masing2...x pernah nk ambik kisah..x perlu nk sakit fact, aq je kot yg lebih2...teringat lagu faizal,

"siapa sebenarnya aku padanya...."

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

my offsite events by WLE Intel Materials Malayisa

Recently joined alot of offsite events organized by WLE. In fact, I am one of the committee members for WLE as well. What is WLE? Well, it represents "Work Life Effectiveness". It is an event organizing team for Intel Materials Malaysia to ensure all Materials department folks to have a better working life. not only day in day out jobs, but also, with all kind of activities.

It is good though, to have some fun time once in a while, escaping from heavy workload, and stress of course. :) With WLE, I finally got the chance to explore the heritage places of Georgetown. Really, a great place to go around; with wonderful building, and nice food.

With WLE, I visited Orphanage home and "sweat" together with those kids, who with the same background like me. And of course, those events gave me the chance to get to know more ppl in Intel, more friends I supposed. Believe I will sure miss WLE and those events after I leave the company, someday in the future.

By the way, I have pulled back my resignation last week and will be staying in the company until year end probably. Plan was to stay and wait until Sept checkpoint to see if there's any chances to get some change in my career. In fact, this current job isn't something that I will want to stay too long, 1 year plus is indeed too long for it. :(. Worst case is that, I will be leaving this nice to work company in Dec timeline. BCP is to further studies, to really seek and pursuit for something, that I really wish to have in life.

Me @ work July 09 ><

Monday, July 13, 2009


yesterday was our second date....not having any purpose..just a date's date....met up in McD where we first met each other...running around penang without knowing where we want to go...and ended up u accompanied me for lunch in Kassim Mustaffa...wasn't really eating but my focus was mostly u....u kept saying i will be bored to be with u.. but in fact, i guessed u are bored to be out with me instead. who cares? as long as we are out together..definitely it will be better compared to be alone at home on sunday, right? it's good when we dropped by Bagan to enjoy the sea breeze, although just for a really short while...

you know what? you are like a mystery...i need to dig out all about you..but yet, you only wish to tell me piece by piece...everytime when we meet, u tell me a little bit more about u mentioned, it's good to be this way, more surprises, and it helps to kill the boredom, a bit i guess... :S...

not sure how long we will remain this way?perhaps, until u are totally bored with me.. :)

and i hope, the day never comes. :)

Cinta ini membunuhku

kau membuat ku berantakan
kau membuat ku tak karuan
kau membuat ku tak berdaya
kau menolakku acuhkan diriku

bagaimana caranya untuk
meruntuhkan kerasnya hatimu
ku sadari ku tak sempurna
ku tak seperti yang kau inginkan

kau hancurkan aku dengan sikapmu
tak sadarkah kau telah menyakitiku
lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
cinta ini membunuhku

bagaimana caranya untuk
meruntuhkan kerasnya hatimu
ku sadari ku tak sempurna
ku tak seperti yang kau inginkan

lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
cinta ini membunuhku

Dambaan Pilu

Inilah yang harus kuterima
Dedaun nan layu
Berguguran jatuh disisiku

Adakah ruang
Walau bermesra untuk kali ini

Biarlah hanya ku menatap
Wajahmu nan indah
Lepas kerinduan ini

Hanya kasih
Milik berdua
Dambaanku pilu
Perpisahan yang berlaku

Tak sanggup bila meratapi
Hanya sayu diriku kehilanganmu ini
Andainya masa menentukan
Moga saat itu kau hadir hanya untukku

Satu yang kupinta
Buatku kali terakhir
Sekiranya diriku masih dalam hatimu
Renunglah kembali
Jika ku masih disini
Biar bersemadi oh kasihmu ini
Yang tiada penganti

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Alam's Story....

skipping my lunch again it quite frequent recently... :P

browsing in youtube for some nice clips and came across Alam's Story...

the voice and the charisma of Alam, made me think of someone....someone untouchable...yet..i miss him. :S

Sunday, June 21, 2009

sunday in Queensbay...

another sunday passed. went to Queensbay with phyro'. late lunch in Nando's, spending most of the time trying to "seduce" the branch manager. yes, gorgeous and sweet. typically my type.. hahaha...but failed to seduce at the end, how sad. :(

then we both went for haircut. been thinking wanna try something new, but at the end, the stylist persuaded me to stick to the existing style...he only helped to trim my hair to make it shorter and easier to be managed.anyway, i kinda like my current hair though. so no harm to keep it.until one day i am bored of it, i will get it changed..hahaha....

imagine how bored we were, 2 big boys lepakking in Starbuck, washing the eyes, and surfing motivelessly online...but anyway, this is definitely better that surfing alone at home in front of the least we are talking to each other..hahaha....

well, it is sunday night again, few more hours it will be monday, i have 8more mondays to go i guess, before i officially declare myself as "jobless"...kinda excited, what will be life become later, when i am back to basic..when i dun have to wake up early in the morning, adn get stuck in traffic jam on the road.,i am seriously, looking forward for that.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

update in June

the date today is June 20 2009. another 69days to my new life....what wil be waiting for me? i am not sure...easier? happier? i do not know. what i am sure, it will be a lot tougher than now. back to basic, i will not be having fixed pay check every month and i will not be able to spend as crazy as i am right now.

finally, i will be leaving penang, a place with lots of memories..both happy and sad one.thinking of the reason why i was here in the first place? i found myself as silly. hoping that the relationship will last longer and forever if we are close to each other, now what? we broke up few months after that. and i am all this faraway place struggling for the own niche of life.

in fact, i dun like my job. more upsetting, i dun even know what i actually want.all these while, i have been trying so hard to fulfill and achive what have been said as "good" and "best" by others, without thinking from my own standpoint. sad though..
and now, i have finally decided, to let go whatever i have, stop for the moment, to start to think, what exactly i want to have in my life? i know, this ain't gonna be easy. but i reli do not want to carry on with this life, a life which i am pretty sure not i want it to be. anyone's with me for ths new journey?nope, i am alone.stepping onto this unknown journey, solo...

i dun mind to be solo anymore, though, if there's a choice, i won't want to be so. tried very hard to make frens happy, hoping that friendship may last longer. tried very hard to love and be loved by someone, hoping that i could have meet my life companion, but yet, i am still alone, both physically and mentally..over and over again, i am getting fragile being hurt for countless time, regardless intentionally or unintentionally, by frens, as well as those that i reli love...and now, i want to stop..all these unnecessary trials...let's have a a new place, with new frens and new job..

i am looking forward, for this new 69days time...

Monday, June 15, 2009

Miley Cyrus - The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
[ Miley Cyrus Lyrics are found on ]
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

am I happy?

dlm masa lebih kurang 2 bulan dr skrg, idup aku akan terima suatu perubahan yg amat besar. tiada lagi idup mewah...tiada lagi swipe credit card tanpa rasa risau sangkut hutang x bayar....tiada lagi mcm2 problem dan tension dh submit surat benti keje...akhirnya, lepas struggle selama berbulan2, setelah melalui berkali2 konflik dalaman yg begitu memeningkan, aku dh bertindak...mgkn ni bukan satu langkah yg bijak pada pendapat ramai serius, aku dh x larat dh....x mampu dh nk truskan perjuangan aku sebagai seorang jurutera. byk kali aku confuse, sama ada aku boleh menjadi seorang jurutera yg berjaya.tiada jawabnya. keputusan aku utk berhenti keje ni...aku pun x pasti, sama ada ia betul atau tidak. tp satu je yg aku pasti, lps ni aku ade masa yg secukupnya untuk memikirkan, apa sebenarnya yg aku nk dan ape yg sepatutnya aku kejari dlm idup aku.this is what we call "soul searching"...mencari diri sendiri kita yg sebenar..mengenalpasti matlamat atau goal idup kita yg sebenar.

kadang2 aku pikir, kalo aku bukan seorang jurutera yg berjaya, apa yg aku mampu capai dlm idup aku?mcm mane br aku boleh kekal idupku dgn kegembiraan dan kebahagiaan?mgkn, itu persoalan pertama yg patut aku menjawab nanti bile aku dh x dibebani keje yg berat, leceh dan memenatkan ini sume...hahah...

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Rindu Terhenti

Rindu Terhenti

Telahku tinggalkan
Memori silam ku itu
Tidakku biarkan hidupku
Dibelit pilu
Walau duka menampan dada
Walau sepi mancalar hati
Rindu ku terhenti

Ku pinggirkan sayu
Yang meruntuhkan pintu
Kasih tulus
Ku biar berlalu
Ku pinggirkan lara
Yang berpaut dijiwa
Ku teruskan hidup tanpa dia

Padahnya lama dah tunggu
Hilang tak berganti
Cinta tiba cinta pergi
Biarlah satu hati

Walau duka menampan dada
Walau sepi mencalar hati
Rinduku terhenti

Ku pinggirkan sayu
Yang meruntuhkan pintu
Kasih tulus
[ Rindu Terhenti lyric found on ]
Ku biar berlalu
Ku pinggirkan lara
Yang berpaut di jiwa
Ku teruskan hidup tanpa dia

Padahnya lama dah tunggu
Hilang tak berganti
Cinta tiba cinta pergi
Biarlah satu

Ku lupa kanmu jua
Sedih kau pergi menjauhi

Ku pinggirkan sayu
Yang meruntuhkan pintu
Kasih tulus
Ku biar berlalu

Ku pinggirkan lara
Yang berpaut di jiwa
Kuteruskan hidup tanpa dia

Padahnya lama dah tunggu
Hilang tak berganti
Cinta tiba cinta pergi
Biarlah satu hati

Biarlah satu hati

long night

mlm td aku g klinik...pastu kena injection...punyer la teruk sakitnya...aku ingat itu je la...mana tau...ubat yg doc bg tu....wt mlm aku begitu panjang....kejap rasa sejuk menggigil..kejap rasa panas nk meletup..kepala aku mcm nk pecah je...huhu...tahan2 akhirnya aku bangun kul6 utk siap g keje...bawa keter dgn slow gile sebab penin pale....seksa dowh...

tp ade gak part yg best mlm td..jumpa and sembang dgn sum1 yg sgt best...outspoken, at last pun aku x dpt number dia....and x nk mintak...tgu dia je yg cari aku.. :D

Monday, June 8, 2009

di hujung penantian

puasku mencari...penatku menanti..akhirnya, dpt pun aku terima khabar dia..x sangka pulak...akanku jumpa dgn dia...siap berkarok skali mlm itu...2 tahun....x la mcm2 aku lalui...ingat lagi aritu aku broke up dgn dia waktu aku tgh practical...geram bile dia ckp aku cuma salah sorang drp 5 org calon dia...dan dia pening sebab semua ajak dia couple...terasa gile aku....yg kami jalan berpegang tangan untuk cari hotel di klang...yg kami cium di platform train kl sentral...itu sume cuma lambang aku sebagai sorang calon untuk dia...aku geram sgt masa tu...dgn kebodohan aku utk sayang dia...smpai x kisah pasal awek dia...smpai boleh tlg kejut dia...untuk bangun siap dan kuar dgn awek dia...

tp...kegeraman itu hanya tahan selama beberapa hari...aku dh menyesal...menyesal kerna aku mintak dia jgn cari aku lagi...nasib baik masa itu kami berjauhan....maka x la terasa sgt.....

x sangka pulak...2 tahun yg lepas....slps aku mula keje kt cni...slps puas aku mcari dia...smpai aku bljr bowling...dan kerap men bowling di tempat yg dia pernah bagitau dia slalu g men bowling...semata2 bharap untuk terserempak dgn dia tp x pernah...aku dpt tau yg dia rupa2nya kawan kepada kawan2 baru aku kt cni....

lagi x sangka....baru2 ni...dia couple dgn kawan ape yg aku berhak nk ckp? x de ape....dia dh bukan hak milik aku lg....sebab aku yg lepaskan peluang aku, 2 tahun yg lepas....maka kalo nk disalahkan...maka hanya aku sendiri yg patut disalahkan je pun....

di hujung penantian, patut aku rasa lega melihatnya sihat spt dulu...
di hujung penantian, patut aku doakan kebahagiaan dia, spt mana yg aku harapkan selama ini, walaupun kebahagiaan itu bukan aku yg beri....
maka selesai la segala mende yg aku cari dan nantikan di cni....keputusan untuk tinggalkan tpt ini sudahpun lama berat sungguh untukku melaksanakannya...aku rasa, skrg la masa utk aku merealitikan keputusan aku...mula idup baru...di tempat baru...

life isn't all about histories and memories...
we are on a long journey which needs us to keep moving forward...
memories taught us about the beauty of life...
but we can't live with only memories forever..
that's y..we need to let go and move on...

Friday, June 5, 2009

Culture Unplugged Video

wanna know what actually happen somewhere around world when you are not finishing your food?
spend couple minutes to watch this. i cried during lunch hour today...

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

masih menunggu...

hari demi hari...ku masih menunggu..mengharapkan sesuatu jawapan....sesuatu respond yg memberitahu aku khabar dia yg terkini...

tp kusedar....payah untukku dpt...walaupun hanya beberapa perkataan yg begitu ringkas....

Monday, May 11, 2009

old time story

nvr thought that he will be fren of thiers...

nvr thought that i would hear about him from them...

masih boleh ku ingat...cerita yg berlaku dua tahun lepas...

masih xdpt kulupakan...muka, tangan dan kata2nya yg begitu manis dan penuh kasih sayang...

tidak pernah kusangka...bahwa umahnya begitu dkat...

ye..aku rindu kini...sume sudah lain....

satu malam ini, aku cuba korek segala khabar tentang dia...makin byk ku dpat..makin terasa rinduku padanya...

tuhan tolong lah...aku doakan kebahagiaannya....semoga dia sihat dan ceria selalu..semoga dia tabah menghadapi hidupnya....

aku sayangkan dia...

Saturday, May 9, 2009


getting on...

been busy for the whole april and is time when things started to get slow down....phewww....finally, got time for a break. but guess what? this is the saddest part of life.. when most of my frens..those that having dinner and hanging out with me almost every single night, are leaving for upcoming journey of their life. sad though..when i am left alone...

i wish i could leave as pursue for the next part of my life journey..but things seem not to work in the way i wish to..ever since earlier this year, i have been trying to get a new job...but looks like i can't. mayb, i just did not try hard enough...or perhaps i am fated to stay here?


life is still getting on...but i am left alone to pursue...

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Sad April

this april...witnessed too much of sadness...watched too many relationship moved towards the end...hopeless and helpless..when the ppl around you..cried sufferred....

this april...finally over..but the impact it still there...hurting everyone...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

one month

did you ever realize? today is the 30th day we got to know each other? i doubt you ever noticed that. yes, i know i am not important in your life.even if i disappear from your life one day, you might not realize that i am gone.
love is really simple yet complicated...just like me...i try so hard to be simple...but yet...things still get's hard to love....really, it is...and it is painful when you are seeing the one you love so much to suffer because of the one he loves...and yes, the most painful part will be, he knows that you love him but he just cant place his eyes on you, even for another moment...
love can turn someone silly....doing things that he never will do....hoping for some miracles that never come true...and yes...that's the reality...never come true..
i wonder how many 30 days more i will need to stay still like this...until i can wake myself up, getting away from my silly dream...hoping that you will look into day...and now, the one day, seems to be too faraway....seems to be impossible to be matter how hard i try....

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Just In Time

when i am trying hard to forget....
when i am trying hard to let go....
just in time...
workload increased incredibly...
no time for me to waste...
no time for me to feel sad...

tried so hard to be a bitch..
yes, i finally am a bitch now...
one night stand? not a big deal..

dun ask if i still love you..
of cos i do...and i am trying to get that over..
as my love is not needed..

dun ask why..
because this is my choice..
to leave and let you go...
because i know,
only when you are freed from me...
then you will remember me...
even just hate..
it still one kinda feeling of you towards me...

i am sorry...
yes i am...
but please...
dun forget me..
cos i am just another bitch in town..

Friday, April 3, 2009

MimPi yG x Sdah

Ibnor Riza

Mimpi Yang Tak Sudah

Apa makna impian
Datang dan pergi
Membawa hati
Menyusuri kembali
Jalan-jalan sepi

Kau kah di situ
Yang menantiku
Atau jelmaan
Dalam kenangan
Yang bernama pengalaman

( korus )
Siapakah di antara kita
Dengan rela menjadi pendusta
Siapakah dulu membina harapan
Dan siapa yang memusnahkan impian
Tanpa sebab dan alasan
Kau lahirkan perasaan
Bagai taufan tiba-tiba datang
Dan menghilang

Kau bayang-bayang
Masa nan silam
Ada ketika terbawa-bawa
Oleh resah mimpi yang tak sudah

( ulang korus hingga akhir )

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Thursday, March 26, 2009

mY schedule for this weekend

26th Mac - way back to Johor (dropping by Seremban)

27th - 29th Mac - in Johor (Sis's wedding)

30th Mac - depart from Johor (agenda TBD)

31st Mac - Back at Work


Perhaps I hoped too much for Love...

perhaps I am too scared to be alone...

Perhaps I am too silly....

but now I know..

it is way too much easier to be a bitch than an angel...

yes...I dun care anymore....

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

dan lagi

dan malam ini...kumenyanyi lagu-lagu itu lagi....bukan sebab aku sebab aku nk melalui lirik lagu-lagu itu.....yg seolah2 mencerminkan situasiku skrg.... sampai syurga...memori cinta luka....sebelum cahaya dan mungkir bahagia.....4 lagu yg amat kerap kunyanyi....bukan sebab lain..tapi sebab dia dan dia.....

Monday, March 23, 2009

Life Cycle - ???

not reli writing the story of my life recently... y? i also dunno....

been busy to keep myself busy from thinking about all those lowlites in my life. :)

sometimes aku confius....ape yg aku mencari dlm idup aku ni...

drp satu kesedihan..aku kuar dan masuk ke dlm satu kesedihan yg lain....ape kejadah dgn idup aku ni. hahaha....mmg aku ni budak kecik...opps...

berikut adalah citer tentang seseorang yg wt idupku tambah bermakne...


Kisah Tentang Si Dia...

masih lagiku ingat, mlm tu aku terjaga drp tdoku sebab rasa terlampau panas kesan drp makan terlampau byk daging kambing yg sedap kt Tao...hehehe...aku baca sms si aril yg mintak tlg aku untuk jemput kawan dia yg dtg dr negeri sembilan....waktu aku baca msg tu..dan kul4 pagi...waktu sms tu kul1 pagi... maka aku pun antar la sms kt budak tu tanya sama ada kawan dia tu dh smpai ke belum. hairan yg teramat, budak tu x tdo lagi. katanya bus yg kawan dia naik tu lambat..x smpai smpai lg. maka aku pun janji dgn dia nk g jemput dia lepas aku mandi. kul4.30, aku dh smpai kt bawah umah dia....mamat ni naik dlm keter aku dgn muka yg sah br bgn tdo dan x mandi. :P

maka kami bergerak nk g jemput kawan dia....sempat lg kami pusing ke PR dan RnR untuk melac__ sekejap sebelum kawan budak ni call dan bagitau bus dh smpai kt bus station butterworth yg sgt cantek itu...drp RnR ke bus station, ambik masa dlm lebih kurang 10 15 minits dan wt kali pertama aku jumpa dgn kawan aril ini....maka begitu la permulaan kisah ini..kisah tentang si dia...

impression kali pertama: budak ni sgt comel...pendiam...x byk bercakap.... ye la..di awal pagi lepas perjalanan sejauh 500km...sape yg larat lg untuk bercakap byk.....

lepas minum di nasmir. aku pun antar la budak2 ni balik ke umah aril...dan aku pun balik ke umah sendiri untuk keje2 kemas bilik, basuh baju dan sebagainya....

tengahari gtu....aku saje antar sms kt aril tanya nk lunch ke x....sebab teringin nk tgok budak x de respond....aku x kecewa sebab sememangnya aku x naruh harapan yg mereka akan bangun "awal" gtu...maka aku pun pergi la makan sorang2....pastu g haircut...g servis keterku.....masa aku tgh tgok rambutku ditarik sana aril dh sms...ajak kuar makan....akhirnya...aku cuma boleh ajak budak2 ni untuk main bowling lepas aku servis keter....

jam nujukan kul7 bile budak2 ni naik dlm keterku.ikut kepala gile aku...sume org main 4 game bowling....x de bantahan... :) sonok gak bile main beramai2...lg sonok bile dia mula bersembang dgn aku...huhu... lepas bowling...ku antar mereka balik untuk mandi sebelum kuar untuk dinner dan karok...

dlm kul 9 lebih ku jemput budak2 ni lagi sebelum jemput nad 2 ekor lgi....kami bergerak ke Kassim untuk dinner kemudian ke karok....asyik dgr kata aril yg kawan dia ni pandai menyanyi...mlm tu...wt kali pertama, aku saksikan sendiri...kehebatan dia...mmg x leh nk kata ape...suara dia..gaya dia....aku cair segala2nya yg aku ade...

saat itu..kumula melihat ke dlm mata dan hati dia....dan aku tau....dia cuma nampak sorang itu je....dlm mata dan ati dia...tiada yg lain....dan aku paham...itu la hakikatnya.... ada aku terasa kecik ati? ade aku makan ati? terus terang, ye...aku mmg ape yg aku mampu katakan?x de ape ape pun...rasanya cuma atiku je yg tahu....aku x layak nk emo x layak nk bising..sebab aku bukan sesiapa pun untuk dia....apa yg aku boleh lakukan..cuma harapkan dia dpt yg terbaik dan dia rasa bahagia..itu je yg aku paksa diriku untuk pikirkan....

oleh sebab itu la...aku cuba untuk bertahan....cuba supaya tidak berada dlm keadaaan tinggal bertiga-tigaan dgn mereka..sebab aku akan rasa ku ditinggalkan sorang2....sebab aku akan jeles....tambah pulak malam tu aku terserempak dgn org yg aku rindukan gila2 di tasik taiping.....masih kuingat mcm mane aku menanggis dan mengadu dkt budak kecik....smpai aku sendiri pun x pasti....tanggisanku itu sebabkan siapa sebenarnya... bodoh ke aku? ye aku mengaku aku nk wt macam mane...itu la aku....

kadang2 aku x paham....nape asyik terjadi begini, sekali lepas sekali, berulang2 je kisah sedih...mungkin ini la lumrah idup...kita kejar2 untuk mendapatkan ape yg kita nk....kita kejar2 untuk menawan hati org yg kita suka.....dan org itu jugak...kejar2 untuk mendapatkan ape yg dia nk dan juga hati org yg dia sayang....ntah smpai ke bile br akan kita yg betol....mmg aku cuba utk jd aku hanya manusia biasa....ade jugak masa yg aku jd lemah....siapakah yg boleh aku mengadu sume ni...segala kesedihan, hanya atiku yg tau.....

berkali kali sudah, ku bgtau diriku supaya jgn lagi mengharapkan nampaknya...bukan senang untuk begitu...atiku tetap perlukan kasih sayang....ku tetap perlukan seseorang untuk temankan perjalanan....teman ini x sama dgn kwn2 lain..teman ini berkali kali juga, hatiku terluka sebab menaruh harapan......x de sape yg boleh aku salahkan...sebab segala itu cuma salahku sendiri...kalo aku x naruh harapan...semuanya x akan apa dayaku..untuk menahan diriku....aku confius....serious aku bengong....nape perlu aku jd lemah dlm bab ni.....sedangkan dlm menda lain aku x lemah?

ntah la...malas nk pikir lagi....sakit ati je kot..hhuhu...

yg penting..aku harapkan org yg aku sayang ini bahagia....kalo dia rasa itu yg terbaik untuk dirinya...aku terima....aku doakan yg dia bahagia....kalo aku x leh nk tahan kesedihan...aku akan pergi jejauh drp idup dia...biarpun aku rindu gile kt dia..biarpun aku kena sedih sorang2...aku x nk kewujudan dan perasaan aku menyusahkan dia....

i am water....that follows the flow....with love...

hold me shape me and love me while you can..

because one day...i will go...

if i m not needed....

i will follow the flow of time...

together with all my love....

Monday, March 16, 2009

rindu pada dia....

Malam td..bila aku menuju ke destinasi yg mmg lama gang aku decide nk pergi....aku dh boleh agak bahawa kami akan terserempak dgn dia di sana...
Memang benar, kali pertama bila keretaku lalu di tempat itu, aku dh perasan keter dia ade di sana.....aril dgn nad x prasan lagi.....aku cuba untuk mengawal emosi dan nampaknya bukan mudah untuk berbuat demikian....perlu kuakui, kurindu disebabkan aku sedar sape diriku...kupaksa dan tahan diri drpd terus ade ape ape dgn dia....

kali kedua bila keterku lalu di tempat itu, aku nampak dia, dia ada di situ....orang yg berbulan kurindui...yg kumimpi....yg sape sebenarnya ku untuknya? aku rasa, dh lama ku jumpa jawapan....

kucuba sedaya upayaku untuk tidak menunjukkan yg aku emo dan ku teringat kembali saat2 dulu, supaya kawan2ku ni yg join skali dlm outing ni tak terbabit dgn bukan senang....kami lalu di jalan yg ku pernah lalu bersamanya....kami singgah di tempat yg pernah ku singgah bersamanya dulu...segala2nya...mengingatkanku semula, tentang memori2ku ketika menghabiskan masa bersamanya kini, ku sudah keseorangan....dan itu pilihanku sendiri...tiada sape yg bersalah, bukan dia...bukan orang lain....kalo betol nk salahkan sesiapa, aku juga yg patut disalahkan, salah kerna mencintai dia.....salah kerna menyayangi dia....

arini ku bangun...ingatkan kesan cengkaman rindu ni akan bila aril beritau yg ari ni ari dia bertunang....kuroboh sekaligus.....skali lagi...kurasa kepedihan hati yg xdpt kubayangkan.... kawan2ku ni x dpt mengesan yg aku la.....bebudak ni x betol2 kenali sape aku lg....mana la mereka nk tau...betapa teruk perasaanku bila dgr berita itu.....kucuba nk lupakan sume nampaknya....aku perlukan lebih byk lg masa untuk lupakan dia dan segala kenangan bersama dia...skali skala bile aku rindu kt dia...kan kubuka myspace dia....melihat gambar dia...mengambil tau pasal perkembangan idup dia.....xpernah kurasakan kerinduan sebegini..xpernah ku rasa sunyi sedemikian.... tp ape yg aku mampu dan boleh buat? x de sape disisiku yg boleh faham dan berkongsi masalahku dgn ku.....dulu ku masih boleh mengharapkan skrg? siapa lg yg boleh kuharapkan?

kupernah terpikir nk minta maaf dgn dia..dan mendapatkan dia kembali ke aku x buat begitu..kerana ku tahu dgn jelasnya...aku x nk dia hanya setakat menjadi kuharapkan lebih drp itu.....sebab kasih sygku pada dia....lebih drp yg aku sayang diriku....

apa apa pun...kini segalanya dh x boleh berbaik kembali.....ku dh kehilangan dia..sepenuhnya....semoga dia bahagia dgn hidup dia....mungkin...tanpaku dlm idupnya....dia lebih baik....dan lebih gembira....yg penting...kasih syangku terhadap dia...xpernah dan x akan berubah....selama lamanya.....

kurindu pada dia.....

Sunday, March 15, 2009

ku hanya keseorangan.....

tetiba rasa sunyi pulak....

no one is gonna hold my hand...

no one will hug me into sleep...

no one for me to dream for...

aku rindu pada org itu...

tp aku tau,

aku dh mula dilupakan....

mgkn ape yg aril kata itu betol...

i need to really move on..

tp, bukan senang untuk move on apabila aku hanya keseorangan...

bila jumpa org lain yg aku suka....pasti macam2 halangan dan masalah yg akan timbul....

bkn aku yg aku yg x layak untuk dipilih....

once after another....aku rasa terseksa....

dunia mcm ini.....

seolah2 mendesak aku utk lepas tangan....

tp boleh ke aku....mampu ke aku??

bila ku hanya keseorangan....

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Seribu Tahun

Relaku menunggumu seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup aku akan selama ini
Biar berputar ke arah selatan ku tak putus harapan
Sedia setia

Relaku mengejarmu seribu batu jauh lagi
Tapi benarkah kaki ku-kan tahan sepanjang jalan ini
Biar membisu burung bersiulan terlelah gelombang lautan
Ku masih setia

Adakah engkau tahu… ini cinta
Adakah engkau pasti… ini untuk selama-lamanya

Relaku menunggumu seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup aku akan selama ini… yeah…
Biar berputar ke arah selatan ku tak putus harapan
Sedia setia

Jangan putus harapan… sedia setia……

Sunday, February 22, 2009

my new possession

check this out....after whole week's of surveying...i finally got my prize as costs me 308 MYR though...but i seriously feel great..... who know this could make me a famous bowler 5 years from now?

hahahah....jus kidding...bowling is only a pass-time for me...not playing under stress but instead, playing to release tension.....guess it's another part of my life that reli intrigues me to improve....both physically and emotionally....something that i can at least do it alone....of cos if there is someone there to accompany me, it would be better... :P

couldn't manage to snap the photo for my new possession..probably tomorrow. :P

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

i made last...

managed to leave office around 9pm...had a slow drive while talking to my mum over the phone...and i stopped at my usual destination...the summit.. thought i would stopped after 3 games but i ended up with 6 games in a row. tired though but it's really helping me to relax and release. what was that? yes, you're's bowling, again..hahaa....

din reli score well until the very last game, i shot up to 163 points, which was far beyond my normal score....yes, i made it....and the reward will be appear here soon...stay tuned...hahaha...

guess wat, i never thought that bowling could be such an important part in my daily life. not until i realized it is something that i can do it alone. i enjoyed the moments of letting go the ball onto the seems so easy yet some difficult to control, just like our life--> simple yet complicated... :)

this might be one important stage of my life, in which i am switching myself into another level of human being....and to build up my passion towards my career.... it's hard though, i spend about 15hours almost everyday to deal with my current job, no doubt i dun like this job, but yet, at current uncertain scenario out there, i reli have to stay focus and perform in my current job. and one day, i will, i know i will, leave this job proudly with no regrets...hahaha...

well, it seems reli hard when no one is standing next to me, giving all those cares and supports that i need most..... :( what to do? have to face it, have to deal with it and have to tolerate it, no matter i like it anot...

to ppl that spend time to read my stories...i would like to thank you for your time. good luck for you guys in everything that u are doing and going to do....

p/s: love those who love you.. :)


Monday, February 16, 2009


Another plain Sunday...did nothing except hanging out with new friend...after sending the fella to work i decided to lepak at RnR for some fresh's was so peaceful...and i kinda like that kinda feeling of hanging out alone.... before this i was thinking that being alone never work but look at myself right now? i am just fine even i am alone...bowling, meals and hangout...doesn't reli mean that i need to have someone to be there for fact...doing all these alone give me more chances to get to know new ppl i am telling what if i am a lone ranger....i dun even's my life...

time's up for my weekend.... sleep and work...Monday..i m coming...

Candid just now at RnR

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Apa barang...? go to hell...

never thought i will meet ppl more emo than me....he pissed me off.....planned to soak my body n head inside the hot pool at thiz lonely valentine day (as usual)... but ended up, someone successfully pissed me off and pulled myself out from the trip....

looks like i am fated to be alone at home and do nothing for this very special but very boring nite...huhuh....perhaps i need to get some fresh air at my favorite place tonite...

yeah,,guess that's plan....let me go out now..hahah..c ya.... :P

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


super tired and down today...realized one of the project passed over to me is with incomplete right it should take me couple weeks to complete that but now, i need to restart afresh... key learning for myself is, i was not really getting into the details. bit down for that...but at least i learned a lesson. and will try to be better.

in the situation that feeling down...i stepped into the bowling court for 3 games. actually asked for 2 but the cashier insisted to let me have 3, as their package for weekdays' nites i believed. good to release tension but yet, i am still at a distance from my target score to get myself a bowl. huhuh...

wednesday, another day with pack of activities and tasks to be completed. i am really trying hard to look at all these from a different perspective now, just a little bit more time, i will be stronger and better than i am, right UltraMan.. ^_^

wish me luck guys...nite nite...

Asked Jack to trim my hair for easier styling
(P/S: this is not the final version, like Jack said, be patient to wait for another month..hehehe)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Monday's over....hahaa....

trying my best to love my current job....reli trying hard right now...hahaha....

got some unexpected phone calls tonite...cant imagined i was not forgotten...Jo, i miss u...hahaha...

goodnite guys...

Monday, February 9, 2009

if you dun care, dun pretend and dun ask...

well..that's it, another weekend passed. with Pink Panther watched and few games of bowling. tried out some nice food in Jusco...which at least, made me feel good for a few minutes. hahaa...

life of mine is getting on...though i am alone. planned to find jack for a haircut today but when i called up lady boss she told me that they have closed up for tonite. too bad...will be goin for that tmr after work.

sometimes i wonder, why everytime when i am about to forget...the person will always reappear in my life...i dun wish to think back and jus wish to move on. meeting up new ppl... having better and more fun in my life. is it too much that i am actually asking for? when i do need someone there for me to hang the person never be there....and i was left all alone..kinda helpless...and hopeless.. and when i finally learnt and adapted the way to be alone...yes..the person trying to let me feel that yes..he is there to care....but i existence was meant nothing to him... so let me disappear....forever.....and let my love to you fade time goes on....pls...if you dun care, dun pretend to and dun ask.....cos it hurts, even much more that u can imagine....

Saturday, February 7, 2009

what's wrong with me?

friday supposed to be a happy day for me....adding that this friday was my replacement holiday for wasn't reli that happy...huhuu...

been asking myself the same question over and over again, how to grow love n passion onto my curent job....but yet..i still do not have any answer....realized that i have not been performing in my best status this couple few i kept on telling myself that i hate this job.....sigh~~wish to change a new job but looking at current economy's not a right thing to do....

went for my car service.spend 200bucks for everything....nw it's much comfortable to speed my car...guess this is the only thing that made me feel great all these while..hahaa....

what am i goin to do today?i dunno...seriously...

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

another working day

Quite tired today...reached office around 7am and begun to check my 200 over emails to be read....and new mails are coming in it go, another busy working day i realized it's time to go home, again, it's 9pm....driving all alone home....suddenly felt so lonely.....took a quick bath, out for dinner together with Yob. Luckily i still have some fren to hang out together with.. hahaha...not so pathetic anyway.....huhu

and yeah, that's it....time to sleep and start another working day at 7am tmr.....i promise myself, to escape earlier from my workplace tmr...and go for 2 games of bowling....hahaha.....

nite nite guys....

Juz-B, my favourite band, once...

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Puspa ST12

kau gadisku yang cantik
coba lihat aku disini
disini ada aku yang cinta padamu

kau gadisku yang manis
coba lihat aku disini
disini ada aku yang sayang padamu

walau kutahu bahwa dirimu
sudah ada yang punya
namun kan kutunggu sampai kau mau

jangan jangan kau menolak cintaku
jangan jangan kau ragukan hatiku

ku kan selalu setia menunggu
untuk jadi pacarmu

jangan jangan kau tak kenal cintaku
jangan jangan kau hiraukan pacarmu
putuskanlah saja pacarmu
lalu bilang i love you padaku

walau kutahu bahwa dirimu
sudah ada yang punya
namun kan kutunggu sampai kau mau

Back to Basic - Simple Simpler Simplest

Nash Coffee @ Nash Donuts & Bakery's finally the 9th day of CNY... Most chinese were busy with "Bai Ti Gong" last nite while i was driving down to SP to meet up some old frens. Life has been tough recently when i eventually "removed" 2 of the most important persons from my life.... the one that i loved so much and the one that i trusted so much. now, back to basic, i finally got them out from my life, which i should have done this long time ago. some must be asking WHY? if they are important, then why removed them from my life? well, it's easy and best described with one word, BETRAYAL. the next question will be "HOW"... and i chose not to answer this one for my own reason.

now, life gets simpler, at least i think so...i do what i like to do, movies, karaoke,bowling and shopping....the only difference is that, i am alone right now. eagerly hoping to meet and get to know new gang and new frens...leaving all those betrayal behind. yes, it's not easy to start afresh but i guess that's the only thing and the best to do, in order to avoid more hurt feelings and bad days.

let's move forward, with a new perspective.....learn from the past, from the lessons i got with a terrible price paid. Guys, pray for me.... and i will pray for you guys too...


Sunday, January 18, 2009


Coba - Faizal Tahir

Cuba kau dengar
Cuba kau cuba
Diam bila ku cuba
Tuk berbicara dengan kamu

Pernahkah kau ada
Bila ku perlu
Tuk meluahkan rasa hati

Dan bila kau bersuara
Setia ku mendengar
Agar tenang kau merasa

Sebenarnya aku padamu
Mungkin sama dengan teman lain
Yang bisa kau buat begitu

Dan bila
Tiada lagi teman bermain
Kau pulang tuk dapatkan aku
Itulah aku…padamu

Cuba kau lihat
Cuba kau cuba
Renung ke mata aku
Bila ku kaku melihatmu

Pernahkah kau ada
Bila ku perlu
Tuk menyatakan rasa sakit
Dalam diri

Dan bila kau perlu
Setia ku menunggu
Agar senang kau merasa

Sebenarnya aku padamu
Mungkin sama dengan teman lain
Yang bisa kau buat begitu
Dan bila
Tiada lagi teman bermain
Kau pulang tuk dapatkan aku
Itulah aku…padamu

Maafkan kerana aku tak pernah
Terlintas tuk menulis pada mu
Salahkan ku
Tak mungkin lagi aku meminta
Untuk kau mendengar..
Untuk kau melihat ke mataku

Sebenarnya aku padamu
Mungkin sama dengan teman lain
Yang bisa kau buat begitu
Dan bila
Tiada lagi teman bermain
kau pulang tuk dapatkan aku
itulah aku…padamu