The End

sometimes i am thinking that i am cursed... guessed what? whenever i begin to feel that myself is being loved, something bad will surely happen, and grab away the little bit of love that i get to feel...

for so long, none of my relationship actually last longer than 1 year. in fact, the longest, was 1 year, with 3 months of cold war, 2 months of transition period when we were becoming less and less intimate....and now...this coming weekend, it is the person's wedding. tough huh?

for almost a year after the last break up, i wasn't really hoping for new relationship. several persons drew my attentions, but none worked out eventually. until this P came to my life. P is not from around here but working in Seremban. got to know P from a ex fren. ya ex fren, means now we are no longer fren.. :) something bad happened and something bad came out from his mouth, destroyed the frienship. not forgiveness, forever.... :(

P is not exactly my type, but the charisma attracts me. somehow, we are not fated to be together. from single to couple to single again, P never ever noticed my presence. i always think that there is a reason..and recently i found the culprit. anyway, now P is happy with his Loved one, and i am glad to see that. the hurt and pain are not that significant as P and me are 500km away from each other. Distance really plays a role here i guessed. :)

approximately 2 months ago, got to know A when i joined frens to Club. in fact, i rarely go to club ever since i stationed in Penang. the clubs here sucks though. :P. first impression of A was very common. and when getting to know A better, the attraction grew bigger. we started to text each other frequently...and once in a while we went out together, either only 2 of us or with a whole bunch of frens. until one fine day, A sent me a text message with the 3 words, simple yet magical...i realized that i am not exactly "tepuk sebelah tangan"..yes, it is sort of confession from A to me....we did not discuss further on that and mutual agreement was to let things go the way they want...and like i said, i am cursed, when i started to feel LOVE, bad things happened. yes it happened.

some f**king b*tch made up story about me and D having affair to A. until A came confronted me asking for clarification...even worse, D came asked if i have made up the story? cool right? i became the guilty one...out of nowhere, i was accused to be having affair with a fren of mine...thanks to the f**king b*tch..few days after that, A and i were still not in good term due to this. and now, there's nothing between A and me anymore....

A special note to the f**king b*tch: Thank you very much for the help. I guess you are happy to see others in miserable. months ago, you sabotaged when i try to get along with P. and now, you did that again. Congrats for the success... thinking of how much I helped you before this, this is what i got from you. this is pretty much a good lesson for me. i will be better eventually..and you will not be forgiven this time. i dun mind if you keep telling ppl around on how bad i am and how pity you are, in wise ppl's eyes, they know who is right and who is wrong..to me you are just too pathetic, hopping around for different frens just for your own convenience....if this is the way you define frenship.. eventually frenship will judge you one day...just wait and see...

to P and A: what has happened cannot be changed and for whatever shit that put to me, i will not clarify further. i will move on with my life now, and will keep praying for you guys' happiness. eventually one day, you will know the truth.....

and this is the end of the charpter....